Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Oh hey, I have a blog. And a 17 year old!

Yea, I haven't updated the blog in quite some time. Whoops! It isn't that I haven't thought about it, I have, I just don't know what to say anymore.  Since I last posted I have seen several doctors for several different reasons and the results are all the same - nothing is wrong.  Or something is wrong but they can't figure it out so nothing is ever done about it.  It hardly seems worth going to the doctor anymore.  I'm still not sleeping all that well, I'm still having diarrhea daily, my stomach still feels like I swallowed broken glass and there seems to be no real cause to any of these things.  At this point it all leaves me with nothing to say or do other than shrug my shoulders and roll my eyes.  This is my normal. This is the phase of life I'm in.  Ehh, whatever.  It could be worse.

What else is going on?  Well, my tiny little daughter who is all of 6 years old is graduating high school next month.  She is driving, she has a boyfriend, she works her part time job and she has received scholarships and acceptance to so many colleges I have lost track.  (Seriously!) Okay, she isn't 6 years old anymore, she's 17 (mere weeks from 18), and I'm struggling.  A lot.  When did this happen?  When did she grow up?  Why can't I make her be little again?

I am trying to plan some kind of graduation party for her but I can't even look at any of the stupid ideas on Pinterest because I break down crying.  I refused to look at the acceptance letter she received from UC Berkeley because if I didn't look, it meant it wasn't happening.  She wouldn't leave if I didn't see the letter.  Right? Please tell me I'm right.

All of a sudden a huge chunk of my life (and hers) is over and I don't even remember where it went or what happened.  My daughter is going to college.  She wants to be a neurosurgeon - scratch that - she WILL be a neurosurgeon.  If there is anyone with the drive and dedication it will take for that, it's her.  She's a beast.  She just is.  And she will become whatever she wants and do great things and I really shouldn't worry.  I just still see her as the same tiny little six year old who said that she wanted to live with me and Jay for "eleventy hundred days".  (Backstory - she's adopted, we got her when she was six and we let her choose if she wanted to live with us.  She did.)  But now she's driving, and being accepted to colleges, and making plans for her future.  It's killing me.  I'm so proud of her, but it's killing me. 

So that's what's up.  Eleventy hundred days are almost up.  I'm trying to savor each and every second.  Had I realized how fast time would have passed I would have done a better job doing that from the beginning.

4 comments:

Patti said...

My boys are only 13 and I'm feeling like I missed where all the time went. I can't imagine how it will be when they all leave the nest. I'm sorry the docs can't help.

100 years from now maybe they will have it all figured out and you'll be one of the first known cases. Doesn't help for now, though. :( Keep hanging on.

maegan@healthline.com said...

Hi Jenni,

Healthline would like to congratulate you on making our list of the Best Crohn's Blogs of 2017!

Our editors carefully selected the most up-to-date, informative, and inspiring blogs that aim to uplift their readers through education and personal stories. We’re glad to have you on the list!

We’ve created a badge that you can embed on your site to let your readers know about your win. The embed code is at the link below.

Winners list: http://www.healthline.com/health/crohns-disease/best-blogs
Badge to embed: http://www.healthline.com/health/crohns-disease/best-blogs-badge-2015

If you have any questions or need help embedding the badge, feel free to be in touch. Congratulations and keep up the great blogging!

Warmly,
Maegan

--
Maegan Jones | Content Coordinator
Healthline
Your most trusted ally in pursuit of health and well-being

João Marone said...

Hi Jenni,

My name is João and I´m from Brazil.
Sorry my bad grammar, ok?

Do you know that all your illnesses are from the emotional and psychosomatic backgrounds?
Medications help but have many side effects.

When my father was a psychoanalyst, he treated and cured many patients of anxiety, depression and even Crohn's.

Try to do a therapy with a psychoanalyst, preferably following the Freud line.
The goal is to find the unconscious motives that make your body barely treat you.

Best regards

April Martz said...

Hi Jenni! I came across your blog when I was looking up Crohn's disease on google. I have a friend who has Crohn's and she recently tried a product called Isotonix Digestive Enzymes that she swears by. Here's a link to where she found it, hopefully it can help you too! www.shop.com/easyforyou/isotonix_digestive_enzymes

Good luck!
Thanks,
April M.