Friday, May 27, 2016


Sleep.  Sleeping.  Slept.  To have slept.  I miss sleeping so much!  I used to sleep a lot.  I used to be able to sleep a lot.  Now I'm lucky if I get more than three consecutive hours of sleep in any give day or night.  The irritating part is there isn't even anything on my mind.  I'm not over thinking things, I'm not planning things, I'm not brainstorming, I'm not having made up arguments in my head, I'm not having racing, word salad thoughts.  I'm not balancing the checkbook or trying to solve problems.   I'm just... awake.  Uncomfortable.  Itchy.  In achy pain that isn't enough to be excruciating but enough to be annoying.  My muscles feel like they need stretched or pulled.  My joints and tiny bones in my wrists and hands ache.  My shoulders kind of feel out of socket or like they need popped.  My calves feel kinda crampy when I try to stretch.  I'm getting enough water I think because I'm constantly in the bathroom peeing all night - which also isn't helping anything.  When I'm not peeing though, I'm all with the diarrhea; but that's nothing new.  I'm just uncomfortable.  Is it my Fibromyalgia?  Possibly Restless Leg/Arm Syndrome that I've never been diagnosed with?  Is it something totally new that I can add to the list of stupid crap that's "wrong" with me that no one will ever be able to affirmatively say what it is and what causes it and actually give me something to stop it?  Is this normal?  Does everyone feel this way?  Am I going insane from lack of sleep?  All these questions are what I think about.  Not any actual problems. And I'm fairly certain I will probably...

(All ya 80's kids gonna get that Freddy reference! HA!)

I'm trying lavender essential oil in a little diffuser.  They say it's calming and can help you sleep.  It's natural.  I'm undecided on if it works.  It hasn't been long enough to tell for sure.  But at least I'm trying.  I just hate not sleeping.  I hate this uneasy feeling in my body.

I've tried all the drugs too and nothing works.  I just end up with headaches the next day that aggravate my current nausea situation.  And they don't even help me sleep.  That's the part that is so stupid.  Why doesn't my body want to sleep?  I hate insomnia.

I apparently posted almost this exact same rant back in July last year.  Weird.

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