Friday, June 7, 2013

Big Decisions To Make - UPDATE!

Everything turned out fine with the EGD last week.  Nothing out of the normal which is what we expected.  I'm just to continue on the meds Dr. GI Dude gave me.  I'm still having spells of nausea and have lost a few more pounds but I'm okay with it.  I could drop the equivalent of Justin Beiber and be completely fine with it.

The bigger issue lately is that my Fibromyalgia has flared with a vengeance.  I am in so much pain I almost can't describe it.  Every joint, every muscle.  It hurts to walk, it hurts to sit, it hurts to sleep.  Heating pad helps a little but nothing is really working to alleviate the pain.  My previous Rheumatologist dumped me because he stopped taking my insurance.  I haven't had one for about two years so I am being referred to a new one.  I hope I can see him/her soon.  It hurts to just type this in my shoulders and wrists. 

I'm starting to wonder if I should keep working 40 hours a week.  Honestly I have the best job and the easiest floor of the whole facility.  I can pretty much do my job with my eyes closed but it takes such a toll on my hurting body to push and pull the 75+ lb med carts.  Kneeling down, bending over, walking and being on my feet most of the shift has really started to affect me.  I think I may see if I can drop my hours back.  I hate to do it, but I have to I think. 

I am having a hard time realizing that once again, my body has failed me in some way.  It has stopped me from being able to do something I love.  I love taking care of other people but everyone keeps telling me I need to take care of myself first.  It's just not in my nature to do that.  Some of my co-workers who know about my illnesses can tell I'm not feeling well and look at me in awe wondering how I get through my shift.  I just do.  Painfully.  And come home and cry from the pain. Guess I've got some big decisions to make.


I spoke to my supervisor about going to only four days a week. She was receptive to the idea and is going to work on it and let me know.  Now if the pain would negotiate like that I'd be great.


Jay said...

Cut back to four days a week

Kathryn said...

Oh Jenni, I'm so sorry. I hope you can find balance in work and taking care of yourself and it'll be OK to cut back a little bit. Have your husband and daughter wait on you hand and foot! ;-) But seriously, thinking about you over here in PA and I hope you get in to see the new doc soon.