Friday, January 18, 2013

2013 brings pain, grieving and ANSWERS!!!

It's only the 18th day of the new year and I've attended a funeral for a dear man and friend who helped be a dad to me when I lost my own dad in 1990.  I've said good-bye to my sweet puppy dog Baylee, I've been hospitalized for four days, I've been medically terminated from my job until I'm well again, I've had to withdrawal from my classes at school, and I'm being scheduled for surgery for sometime in the next two weeks.  Wow - that's a lot.  How am I coping?  I'm not really. 

The bright side is that I pushed far enough and nagged enough people that I finally received a surgery consult to see if they can do something about my pain that is coming from nowhere with no cause and technically shouldn't be hurting me at all.  I stood my ground and got what I so desperately needed ... someone to listen to me!

I will finally be having surgery to remove this huge hernia that I have at the top of my scar which the surgeon believes is contributing to a lot of my pain.  She will also be removing adhesions / scar tissue which is also contributing to my pain.  I realize that surgery is how you get the scar tissue, but it is the the point that I am becoming worse and more debilitated by pain and need to get some of it cleaned out of there fast.  She is also going to look at my small intestine to see if there is any active Crohn's hiding in there like it did when I was first diagnosed with Crohn's.  Four feet of that nastiness hid it's way under healthy bowel so every test appeared that I was fine and it wasn't until the surgery that they discovered I was definitely not fine.  I'm a little afraid that might be happening again.

After many years of back and forth trips to Dr. GI, many tests and procedures showing nothing was wrong, and no answers for any of my questions, someone is finally willing to do what I've wanted them to do all along.  Just open me up and take a look in there so see what's going on.  Now on day two post op I'm sure I am going to be wishing I hadn't made this decision but today I'm good with it.  I am hoping to post my progress along the way with the help of my husband, Jay.

So 2013 will continue with some more pain and a lot of healing but I think it will be ok.  I hope.

1 comment:

Lindsay Kayla said...

Hopefully with everything bad that has happened in 2013, something good will come out of it for you! I love your posts :)