Thursday, November 22, 2012

Patient, Nurse, Patient, Nurse?

A few weeks ago I got to spend five fun filled days in the hospital for severe dehydration and some unknown reason causing me to have mass quantities of diarrhea (more than usual) like 25 times a day for about 3 weeks.  The visit was pretty uneventful actually.  I laid in bed, had some tests done which showed nothing (like usual), got some sweet pain meds, IV fluids and slept a lot.  I'm still feeling pretty weak and if I am honest with myself I am still dehydrated and just flat out exhausted.  I'm pushing myself way to hard lately.  And I still want to do more.  My intestines keep me running to the bathroom all day long at work (have I mentioned the 16 hour shifts I am working??) so I try to eat very little and ignore my angry belly.  My Residents are my priority when I'm at work, not myself.  It's the life of a nurse I suppose.  I love it.

When I started this blog I wasn't a nurse, just a Crohnie with lots of experience being a patient.  I made a decision sometime in the summer of 2009 to go to nursing school and become an LPN.  I did it.  Now I work as an LPN.  I was hospitalized for one thing or another bowel related six or seven times in the eleven months it took me to get through school.  I was a patient, then became a nurse.  Now that I'm a nurse I have become a patient again. I feel like I'm in the doctor's office and getting my meds adjusted more than the elderly that I take care of. And here it is, almost winter of 2012 and I've go the itch to go back to school to become and RN.  I feel like one side of me thinks I am super woman and have goals and dreams and I'm strong and determined to do this.  But my frosted side feels like I am just trying to slowly kill myself.  Maybe it's a little of both.

There is no easy way through getting an RN degree.  Not that LPN school was easy, but when I was doing that I did it quickly with an accelerated program and I wasn't working at the time.  Now I will have to work AND go to school.  And not only am I wanting to get my RN degree, I am wanting to get my Bachelor's degree so this is going to be an adventure.  I'll be in it for the long haul and it isn't something that I can take one class here and one class there and do "part time", like some have suggested.  It isn't possible. It's an all or nothing kind of thing.

So as I sit here enjoying my food coma from Thanksgiving dinner - for which I already regret eating - I am tossing around ideas and looking at schools to see how, when, and where I can obtain my BSN.  Wish me luck because this is sure to be one hell of a ride!


Anonymous said...

Good luck Jen! You can do it!!!

Kathryn said...

Good luck, girl! That's absolutely terrific that you're going back to school! I applaud you for having the courage!!

justanother said...

I am sooo grateful I found your blog!!!! I am going through the same type of thing though I am newly diagnosed and have had 2 horrible times in the ER thus far....I am also an LPN and I just wanted you to know that this has uplifted me alot!

justanother said...

I just want to let you know that I am newly diagnosed and have had 2 horrible experiences in the ER and just a terrible last few months. I am also an LPN and going back for my RN but was so good to read this blog and feel like I am not alone and it uplifted my spirits a little. Thanks and good luck!

Jenni said...

Just another: I'm so sorry you are new to Crohn's but we are here for you. Lots of blogs, lots of support. Hang in there!! HUGS!!!