I've been on the job for about two months now. It feels like at least seven years. Just when I thought I was getting a handle on things a little restructuring happened on Monday and I now need to unlearn everything I had previously learned in the last two months and relearn it the correct way. D'oh!
It's really not as bad as it sounds. A major source of job stress was eliminated and though I am going to be in the (re) learning phase a little while longer, I think it's a good thing. I get to help implement some new strategies to help get and keep things flowing in a more efficient manner. Fantastic. But the stress, even though the bad stress has turned to good stress, is killing me.
My body is aching, my belly is all tensed up, and I am extremely exhausted but cannot sleep. I really don't deal with stress well. Good stress or bad stress. Walking, well, half walking half running, on that stupid treadmill isn't doing it for me. My hope is that once all the changes get worked out and a new routine is established things will settle down. The reality is this won't happen for a while. Like weeks to months.
I am ever so thankful for my job. I enjoy what I do and have yet to make an announcement about my health issues. This actually motivates me to stay healthy. Once it's out there it becomes a huge topic of discussion. No one knows a lot about Crohn's so I have to explain everything to everyone. Then I have to explain that I don't have cancer, and that I am not, in fact, dying. It's not contagious. Every sniffle, sneeze, or cough doesn't mean I will miss work and it's not all related to my stomach issues.
And then there is the advice that comes when people learn you have Crohn's. I get the "Oh my best friend's brother's mailman's uncle's roommate's hairdresser has that." And the "Well if you would eat better you would be fine." Which is usually said while they are staring at my lunch which consists of easy digestible, non fibrous, non vegetable related foods. Then there is my personal favorite, "I have stomach problems too. I had diarrhea (usually said in a whisper) once last week. Oh my gosh I thought I was going to die! I couldn't even leave my house!" To which I would love to repsond, "Gee, that must be tough. I've been to the bathroom with massive diarrhea five times already today and it's only 10am and I'm here." And so on and so forth. So yea, it's better that it's not out there...yet.