Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I'd like to thank the Academy

Yesterday I went on a job interview.  The second job interview I have had in six months. Yes, just the second interview.  It was a "group" interview.  One position, six people.  As we were all there together in the lobby area of this small office waiting silently not speaking to each other, I was sizing up my competition.  One lady was on her phone texting (loser), two ladies were actually wearing jeans (losers), one lady was in a skirt (Frick! I wore dress pants!).  Feeling more and more self conscious by the minute I was happy when the interviewer finally came out and got things started.  She informed us all about the position, told us the pay, and asked if anyone wanted to leave.  HA two left.  (And one hadn't even shown up) so it was down to me and two others.  Skirt and Texter.

The interviewer started questioning us.  She asked Texter what the three main motivating sources in her life were.  That's easy, I thought to myself: God, my family and my inner desire to see a job well done.  Texter answered her family, her job and her friends.  Loser.  Then the interviewer asked Skirt a similar generic question that I thought would be just as easy to answer.  I quickly thought of how I would answer that one too.  But then it was my turn.  I got "what three things do I look for in a job?"  What the heck?  How was I supposed to answer that and still be honest?  "Um, okay: 1) Easy access to the restroom. 2) Flexibility when I have to be off work to have colonoscopies and other gross and horrible testing. 3) Pain pills in the candy dish."  I mean, what was I supposed to say?!  I cobbed some answer but really felt like I was talking in circles.  I am pretty sure they all could tell I was making it up as I went along.

It went on like this for about ten more minutes of questioning.   Skirt and Texter got simple questions and I got these off the wall weird questions that had no good or easy answers. I felt like I had to out do their answers with my answers even though the questions were way different.  Then I realized that I was the only one out of the three of us who was actually unemployed.  Hello!!  Give a brotha a break here! You two have jobs already so why are you here??  No fair! 

Just about when I was ready to declare shenanigans the interviewer concluded the interview by saying that her intentions were to narrow the group (of six originally) down to three and do one on one interviews but since we were already down to three we would all be called back for one on one interviews.  And that would take place the following week.  I was there, already.  I was dressed up, already.  I was prepared to answer more stupid questions, already.  But I had to leave and wait for them to call me back.  Ugh! Now I have to find something else to wear!

I really have come to realize that I hate the interview dance.  It is really frustrating.  I can't say what I want to say, like, "Give me the job I am desperate!"  I end up trying to answer the questions with what I think they want to hear and half the time I am so busy trying to make up an answer that makes me sound half way intelligent that I forget the actual question half way through, especially if it's a two part question.  I should be thankful that I even got as far as the interview.  It's the closest I have come to a job in six months.  And you know, even if I don't get the job, it's an honor just to be nominated.  :) 

1 comment:

Kathryn said...

I've never had to go through the indignity of a group interview; wow! Glad you're getting a call back and it will be one-on-one! Good luck from a fellow unemployed! ;-)