Sunday, October 10, 2010

Coming down from the high

The high of graduating nursing school has almost completely faded away now.  I have been job hunting only to find that with no experience you cannot get hired.  So how can I get experience if no one will hire me??  I am considering going back into the administrative field just so I can get a job.  I still need to take my State Boards though too and that is going to take another month or so to get scheduled.  I should have started the process sooner but I didn't want to do it without knowing for sure I was going to actually graduate.  Not that I am superstitious.

I am feeling kinda bad lately.  Every day I am fighting horrible gas pains and it feels like my bowels are twisted in knots. I have eliminated carbonated beverages and anything with even a little spice to it.  I am about to start a total liquid diet to try and calm things down.  I have horrible noises coming for my stomach too.  I am pooping (like crazy!) so I don't think there is a blockage.  I am so completely bloated all the time now though.  I just think my guts are very unhappy.  My bones and muscles have been hurting the last couple of days too, but I have been pushing myself a little.  I have decided to paint several rooms in our house.  I am trying to do this is small steps but it is hard not to get carried away some days.  I have way too much time on my hands I guess.  And I love painting!  I feel empowered when I can ban my family from different rooms in the house. 

I am excited though because on Thursday this week I get to give myself my first B12 shot.  Well, not my first one but the first one I will give myself.  I get to see what kind of nurse I really am!  ;)

We started going to a new church too so I am back in Bible study two days a week.  I think it has been good for me.  I have really reconnected with God and I think I am beginning to reach some much needed peace in my life.  Nursing school really did some damage to me - physically, emotionally and spiritually.  It's hard to explain.  At least it's getting better now.

I have also been reading other blogs from people with Crohn's disease and I have to say, though I am not in an active flare up of Crohn's right now, I can still remember all the pain, the sickness, the treatments, the feelings - everything.  I think it is awesome that so many of you have blogs to help support others with this disease and to be open to accepting support for yourselves too.  I think most of my current stomach issues are all results from the treatments and surgeries I had because of Crohn's.  There have been a lot of advancements in the treatments for this disease since I was diagnosed 17 years ago.  I am hoping and praying there is a cure soon.  I really hate to see so many people suffering.

Well that's enough babbling for one day I guess.  Be well.


Kathryn said...

Hi Jenni,

I can't think of anything more arduous than job-searching...argh, it's awful. Keep it up and good luck on the state boards!

Do you think stress may at all be contributing to your flare-up? I've noticed a direct link...and you have so much going on. Good luck on everything! :-)

PhotosByMamie said...

So glad I found your blog. I've had crohn's for 3 years and finally got some relief recently after trying every drug out there. It's good to know I'm not alone.