I figured something out the other day. Of course it came to me while I was in the bathroom. That is where I do my best thinking. I was going to the bathroom at a restaurant (always the case, I don't know why I waste my money eating) minding my own business when this mother and child come in. There were three other stalls available so I wasn't worried about rushing. I hate to be rushed. All of a sudden I hear the door to one of the stalls slam shut and I hear this mother yell "Now hurry up! I don't have time to wait for you!" I sat there astonished. I really wanted to go out there and punch the woman in the face but I wasn't exactly in a position to do so. This reminded me of another incident that happened while I was at the store a year or so ago. I may have blogged about it. I'll have to look back and see. But I was again, in the bathroom minding my own business. A mother and child come in and the very impatient mother starts yelling at this child (who couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 years old) saying "You'd better hurry up or the Toilet Monster is going to get you!" Really?? WOW!
As I sat there thinking about how annoyed I was becoming at this mother for yelling at her kid because she had to use the bathroom, it came to me. It's no wonder why we have so many people who have bathroom anxiety. Fear of the toilet, germs, pooping in public, the noises, the smells, the whole restroom thing in and of itself. My own daughter is a perfect example. She refuses to go the bathroom at school. She literally just won't do it. Every day on the ride home she lets out the most horrendous gas you could possibly imagine and no sooner do we get in the door then she is headed to the bathroom. I have tried to explain it is not good for her to hold it like that but she won't comply. She won't even pee at school. As you may already know she is adopted. We got her when she was 6 years old....already potty trained and doing most of everything on her own. I don't know how her whole potty training situation went or if there was someone yelling at her but it is obvious that she knows that I use bathrooms anywhere and everywhere without prejudice. Needless to say, I don't know where she gets her bathroom anxiety from. I worry about her.
And what about bowel trouble itself? If we are told when we are just learning how to go to the bathroom that we have to hurry up and there is no time to wait then aren't be being conditioned to hold it until a more convenient time? That's not good on any part of our intestinal system. I know this, I'm almost a real nurse! And how horrible is it to tell a small child if they don't go fast enough that a mythical Toilet Monster is going to get them. Why would you do that?
Now I am in no way saying that every person who may have some sort of bowel issue or bathroom anxiety had parents who yelled at them while potty training. Nor am I saying that yelling at your kids is bad. I yell at my kid all the time. :) I just feel like you shouldn't yell at your kids when it comes to anything that has to do with normal human bodily functions like pooping. I mean, why give a kid a complex about it at such an early age - or any age. It's just wrong. I'm just saying. I also do recognize the fact that there may be other extenuating circumstances about the yelling that was going on outside of what I heard. It is possible I don't know all the facts. But I still don't think there is any reason to yell at anyone about having to use the bathroom whenever and wherever they need to. Or how often they need to. So there, I said it. I feel better now.