Monday, March 30, 2009

I'M OFFICIALLY FREAKING OUT!!!!!!

If you have read anything in this blog at all you will know that all my test results ALWAYS come back completely normal. Nothing ever appears to be wrong with me. My normal is to be "normal" on paper regardless of how bad I feel. Until today.

My nurse called me this afternoon and informed me that the Xray I had of my hip shows "distinct differences since my last Xray and there is an undetermined problem that they need to get further evaluation on". WHAT THE.... I am scheduled for an MRI tomorrow morning. I may have a possible fracture. I may have a mass. I may have bone death. Who knows...she didn't come off of any more information than just enough to freak me out!

I realize that this is where my faith in God is supposed to consume me with comfort knowing He is in control but not knowing what is possibly wrong with me is really scary. Yes, it's ultimately in God's hands but I was just thinking about what a great weekend I had and all the good things that had been happening in my life. This is usually when tragedy strikes. I am probably freaking out over nothing but I really hate when doctors/nurses give you just enough information to make your mind wander so you Google and Wikipedia everything possible to get an answer about what is possibly going on. And never once did my nurse say, "don't worry, it's probably nothing." None of that!! Not even a "don't panic." Where's my "don't panic"???? I need a "don't panic"!!!!! Hellloooooo! I'm panicking!

Okay, deep breath. I am a smart person who does her homework and I know all the complications and side effects that Prednisone can cause. I have experienced all of them at one time or another...up to and including total psychosis! I'm increasingly concerned about the damage that Prednisone could be doing - or has already done - to my bones. My rational side wants to say that when I fell when we took the youth group roller skating a while back that I could have hurt myself then. However two things lead me to believe this may not be the case. One being that I was having back and hip pain before that and secondly when I mentioned the fall to my nurse and told her I landed square on my butt she said that more than likely wouldn't have hurt my hip since I didn't land on my hip or side. I have enough padding on my butt that my fall was well cushioned. And besides, my pain is getting worse, not better. So I don't know. I am trying to remain calm. I really am but I will feel better after the MRI results are in and I know what is really going on.

Have I mentioned I hate doctors?

1 comment:

BrightSide said...

... and this is why they aren't supposed to give results over the phone. *tsk* unprofessional.

Don't worry, till you have all the facts.

~Bright Side