Early Friday morning I ended up in the hospital again. I had such a horrible headache I was pretty sure I was going to die. I really thought I was. I had never experienced pain in my head like that ever in my whole life. I am told it was due to the Prednisone. So they lowered my dose to 10 mg. I don't ever remember that being a side effect of that drug but they said I was having the opposite side effects than normal people. If I had a dime for every time a doctor told me I wasn't like "normal people"....
So it's Sunday and I'm still feeling a little pain in my head and some pretty substantial nausea. I am also having a lot of stomach pain and can't seem to stay out of the bathroom. The diarrhea has returned with a vengeance since the Prednisone dose was lowered so now I am wondering what the big plan of attack on the Crohn's will be. I go see the doctor tomorrow afternoon. I'm thinking he will add Pentasa and/or Methotrexate - both of which I have taken before with pretty good results and little side effects.
Meanwhile I have missed so much work from being sick and running back and forth to the doctors I am pretty sure I am going to get fired. You know, it isn't like I chose to have Crohn's and be sick a lot. I didn't just wake up one day and decide that working was overrated and I willed my Crohn's to flare to give me an "excuse" to not go or be able to stay a whole day. It isn't like I want to have to go to the doctor and be on this medicine and have all these horrible side effects. I think a lot of people forget that. They look at me and just expect me to suck it up and be able to live a completely normal life without any limitations at all - disease flaring or not. That is completely uncaring and unreasonable to expect that from me, don't you agree?
The more stressed out I get the sicker I get because we all know that Crohn's feeds off of stress. So the sicker I get the more medicine I need and the more side effects I have because of the medicine. It's a never ending cycle. I just want to rest but the world won't let me. There is too much to be done that demands my attention. My question is though, when is it okay for me to demand my own attention to get myself healthy? When is it okay for me to put myself and my health care first instead of everyone else's needs? Just curious.